Cheese Weekly 2010
Cheese Weekly 2010 – DRAMA 2010
Roles:
Will Co-Anchor, Sports, Band
Holly Co-Anchor, Band
Natalie Gossip, Infomercial
Minda Infomercial,
Matt Sports,
Damian Cooking
Ben Anchor, Band
Segments:
Special Guest (Professor X. Percy)
Infomercial (Advertising an Exit Sign “The Exciter Sign”)
Movie Review (Big Partay!)
Cooking (Damian 2 Minute Noodles)
Bands (Hugh Jabs)
Stories (Michael Jackson Ghost, Government Save Money Scheme)
Cheese Weekly Script
Holly Minda
Matt Natalie
Ben Will
Sean? Josh?
“Hello and welcome to Cheese Weekly, The show that’s more cheese . .”
Twirls hand towards Will hinting for him to finish the sentence
“Get stuffed, I’m not saying it.”
“Hem, well yeah that’s not quite how it goes”
“We’ve got a lot in this episode today people so sit back and relax”
“Today’s show includes . . .”
Twirls hand towards Will again
Will gives Ben a death stare *threatens with fist*
“Fine, fine”
“Today we have a closer look at Michael Jackson’s ghost, Damo shows you a great new meal for the kids,”
“And the band Hugh Abs . . . Hugh Jabs performs their new single live-on stage, so stick around”
CHEESE WEEKLY TITLES
“First up we look into a reporting that Michael Jackson’s ghost has made another appearance, this time however people believe that he is messing with us . . . Quick note, the following video may be upsetting to some viewers”
MICHAEL JACKSON GHOST VIDEO “THRILLER”
“Everything has a meaning, and with us today we have Professor X. Percy, a ghost and paranormal investigator at the Plopsberg College, What’s your take on this professor?”
“Well as we can see here, it is a video, it seems like a nice, colourful video, it plays rather smoothly and the projector you’re using is quite nice . . .”
“Yes but what do you think the ghost and the music, what do you think it’s trying to tell us?”
“Well how am I meant to know? I came here for the Antiques Roadshow Confessions Closet.”
“Sorry, what?”
“Who on earth do I blame this time for wasting my time!”
WILL STANDS UP AND THE LIGHTS DIM
“You know you didn’t have to kill her.”
“Shut up we’re on air!”
“Ah, yes, cra . . . right”
STRAINS A SMILE AT THE CAMERA/AUDIENCE
“One of the biggest things on the movie radar at the moment is the movie ‘One Big Partay!’ staring Tom Cruisellapetronio, check it out”
BIG PARTAY! MOVIE TRAILER VIDEO
“It’s a good movie this one”
“Yeah, I plan on seeing it next week”
“Oh really? Well in that case, let’s have a exclusive sneak peak”
BEN SHAKES HEAD
“No, I don’t want to see . . .”
“Not for you! For the viewers”
“The viewers don’t want to see . . .”
WILL STICKS HIS HAND TO EAR AS IF PRODUCER IS TALKING TO HIM VIA EARPIECE
“Oh what a pity, seams we aren’t allowed to show you an exclusive sneak peak . . .”
“Yes!”
“Ha ha, Stay tuned, after the break we have Hugh-Jabs, Cooking with Damo and our take on the new movie Big Partaay!”
“The main character dies”
“AAAAARGH!”
Tackles Will to the ground light fades to black.
AD BREAK:
“Welcome back, Will just popped out for a second, it seems he must have broken his nose when we were . . .”
HOLLY WALKS IN
“Hey guys, was getting my nose fixed up and figured that while I’m in town I may as well get a quick sex change.”
“Ne-ne-next we-we h-have na-na”
“ . . . Natalie giving us the latest Hollywood Goss, what’s it like over in the big HW Natalie?”
EXITER SIGN SCRIPT
Minda: here we have speaking with us today about the all new exciter sign… Billy Conn
(abruptly cut off)
Natalie: why are we talking to THAT freak?
Billy Connelly: Well excuse me! Of course I’m not in the room or anything.
Billy Connelly: Well excuse me! Of course I’m not in the room or anything.
Minda: never mind her, what are your thoughts Mr. Connelly?
Billy Connelly: Why back in Scotland we’d rip her hea____
Billy Connelly: Why back in Scotland we’d rip her hea____
Minda: MR. CONNELLY! Your thoughts please!
Billy Connelly: Personally I don’t know! I mean why on earth would I buy a block of cheese for —–
(2.5 HOURS LATER . . . Theoretically, this is actually SAID)
Natalie: Excuse me, with all due respect Mr. Connelly we AREN’T talking about YOUR cheese issues we are talking about the Exciter Sign
Billy Connelly: Oh BEEEP, When something exceeds your knowledge of how it works it kinda becomes magical – – – –
Natalie: Excuse me, with all due respect Mr. Connelly we AREN’T talking about YOUR cheese issues we are talking about the Exciter Sign
Billy Connelly: Oh BEEEP, When something exceeds your knowledge of how it works it kinda becomes magical – – – –
(1.6 HOURS LATER)
STAGE HAND WALKS IN AND HANDS
Billy Connelly: Well if I knew you were paying me this much, the exciter sign is absolutely brill- – – –
Minda: okay . . . you finished? Back to you…. uhh Will?
STAGE HAND WALKS IN AND HANDS
Billy Connelly: Well if I knew you were paying me this much, the exciter sign is absolutely brill- – – –
Minda: okay . . . you finished? Back to you…. uhh Will?
“I really love the exciter sign, I was using it all last week.”
“Yeah yeah,”
“Let’s give a warm welcome to Hugh Jabs . . . Hugh Jabs? Performing their new single ‘Don’t Wanna Get A Job!’”
*BEN HOLDS HAND UP TO EAR*
“What? You Can’t be serious!” *Argues Shortly*
“Uh, guys . . . we need to get up on stage and perform, boss says he NEEDS a band to play”
*CAST MEMBERS ‘FAIL MISERABLY’ AT TRYING TO PERFORM ‘SMOKE ON THE WATER’
“What did you guys think of that? There album “Slacksters” is now available in BA-BY-HI-FI and other retailers”
“Now, What do your kids eat at home? Would you rank it as Healthy?
Do you need ideas on how to cook them? I mean cook for them?”
“Well look no further, Damo the chef is here, with a brilliant easy recipe for you to feed your kids with”
DAMIAN 2 MINUTE NOODLE VIDEO
“Thanks Damo and . . .”
WILL WALKS IN
“Wha!!!”
“Hey guys popped out for another sex change, I can’t do a sport segement as a girl”
“Aaaaw!”
“Now onto sports!”
“He’d better change back afterwards . . .”
WILL & MATT SPORTS
SPORT SCRIPT
Will: “Thanks Will, you are awesome
Anyways,im here with proffesional boxer Matt Telford and today we are going to be showing the viewers the skill of boxing”
(Gets hit to the ground by Matt)
Will: “Not yet u idiot!”
Matt: “Oh, sorry,
We will be showing you some cool boxing skills”
Will: “Yeah, so first up we’ll show you a block.
Matt: (blocks the punch and gets carried away and punches will in face.)
Will: What was that for it was meant to be a block!
Matt: well i got bored, now we will demonstrate a punch this one is called a
(*Ask matt what its called*)
,Ready?
(Before will gets to reply matt king hits him onto the mattress knocking him out)
Ben: Ahh guys is everything goin to plan there?
Matt:Umm yea will’s just really tired.(slaps will in face to try and wake him up)
WILL WALKS BACK TO DESK
NATALIE WALKS IN SITS AT DESK
“Hey guys,”
“Hey you can’t do that.”
“Oh come one, you did it,”
“Yeah but this is my desk who are yo___” Will sits there speechless
“That’s all for today’s show, catch us next week at an all new time of 4yPM, see you later!”
“Wait, so you’re . . .” Fades to black
“Yeap!”
END OF SHOW