Don’t expect a big thing on deal or no deal. I ain’t talking about any boxes with colourful blue cards with amounts of money written on them.

I’m talking about being a big deal, someone who is important, actually noticed.
To some people you may be a bigger deal than to others, to you some peoples opinions or etcetera may matter a lot more to you than other peoples.

There was a long period where I wasn’t a big deal to people, no one cared on my opinion, or what I thought. When I spoke about what I felt it wasn’t taken seriously, it was just pushed to the side like the green mushy peas that once lay upon the small plastic plates of our childhood.
Up until recently, my opinion didn’t matter.

But as it happens, there are people who to take my opinion as a big deal, who seem to want to have a good impression when it comes to what I think of them.

It adds a few more cards to the table, more things you have to think about, and more things to watch what you say. More moves you have stop and think about before you make them.

Let’s just say I haven’t been doing that recently, I’ve went and said things without joining the dots and thinking about how it would come across from their perspective, I’ve always carried on about perspective,
“Try and see my perspective for once.”

How pathetic of me to not actually go by my own words.

But it was my own feelings that blinded me, it was my ignorance that contributed to things being said that really were both unfair, and improper. They may have been speaking my mind, but they definitely did rule out, and describe, some of the best people I have ever known. On my part, the way it was written was offensive, and has been modified.

The one describing that brat in my class ,however, hasn’t been removed, nor edited, I try to her perspective all I see is a ignorant pain that only thrives off talking to other popular people, Gah!

ANYWAYS.

I’m Sorry.

Ben,