Hey everyone, girls and guys alike! Welcome to the new school year, some are Grade 10, 9, even 11 in some cases (if you are going to college).

I was sitting in English today, thinking away about what just to write about. School, my job, my family, maybe even a simple thing I noticed while walking down a street… then, one of my friends thought up an idea, a post based on a joke I said to him at some point during the day.

It goes like this:

“Pollen is essentially ‘plant sperm.’ Therefore, Hay fever is an STD.

Because pollen is not voluntarily taken in by humans, we are all being raped by trees.

Conclusion: Deforestation is the key.

So take that environment. You rape us, we rape you right back!”

I came across this joke while browsing Facebook. Quite intrigued by the joke, I put it up on what was my “wall,” and received multiple ‘likes’ and several comments…

You may be thinking something along the lines of: “Why the heck is he writing about this??” or “This joke makes no sense in terms of preventing hay fever.”

I will tell you something right now. It does, but with serious consequences and flaws of course. Firstly, if someone decided to destroy an entire ecosystem, they would be thrown into the psych ward of the nearest hospital. Then, they would be put in solitary confinement if they still planned to go ahead with their project.

Secondly, if you actually managed to cut down every tree in the world, we would eventually run out of oxygen and end up a bit like the planet Venus. Besides, as some may be thinking now, hay fever is not just caused by trees, it is caused mainly by grass and a variety of plants…

An absolute maniac would now be saying, “Burn the land!! Destroy all the grass and plants that cause hay fever!!”

Lastly, if the world somehow went to drastic measures like these, there would be panic all across the globe with people preparing for the worse. This is where Julia Gillard steps in and says, “Bring on the Carbon Tax policies!!”

So, if I come up with a plan like this, please put me up against a wall and shoot me.

Until next time,

Fester.