The Outsider

*NOTE* Ben from the future (30/10/2013) would like to inform you that the contents of this blog posts contains texts that may indicate that the writer at this time was arrogant, self-indulged and ‘a bit of a bastard.’  This indication is correct, and probably hasn’t changed since. =P

I spoke up today,

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a tantrum, it wasn’t a yell, it wasn’t a scream.
There were no tears involved as some dribble mouth suggested.

I spoke out my opinion and got belted for it.
Here’s the story.

Basically in my class, for some ridiculous reason, I am labeled as ‘the kid who knows everything and always gets top marks.’ My idea is that because I’ve got a few A+ on English-based assignments (Heh, who would have guessed that) and presentation-based assignments. This, in the demounted minds of common school students with their low-power thinking brains, has given them the impression that I am some sort of genius that knows everything.
Not only is it annoying being called nerd and geek, but because of all the genius reputation that has been belted upon me whenever I get less than good results in whatever subject I get absolutely smashed for it.
People start carrying on and saying, “I got better than Ben,” and, “I’m smarter than Ben, ha Ben you suck!”
Ever since the last shenanigan of that subject I decided never to bother telling my scores or ranks, whether good or bad, they don’t need to know.

And as for, “I’m smarter than Ben, ha Ben you suck!” I have an objection to that,
Because if your ‘smarter’ than me you wouldn’t be saying, “I’m smarter than Ben, ha Ben you suck!”
That’s ridiculous, you never heard any great mind say, “Ha ha I’m smarter than you,”
It’s bogus for you to think that being smart is about your knowledge, being smart is about being a strong thinker, that thinks about things, that can process heaps in their mind.
Not some boaster who pipes up and carries on about what they know and how they know a lot, or overreact on a music test.
Yes thats what this is all about, some stupid music test. No other subject, just music.
The music tests are the only tests that I really have never gone well in.

What really was the absolute pain today though was one girl, if this girl is reading now, please close your eyes for a few lines…
I find her one of the most painfully annoying popular brats their is. Theres heaps of them.
These popular brats that no matter what they do people like them, they come to school saying they “had sex at 7” and everybody still likes them, they could come to school and say they shoved their hand up a cows arse and rolled around in whatever came out and everybody would still like them, they have no good reason for people to like them except their disgusting what they have done bogus.
They act kind to all the other popular kids or when there are popular kids in the vicinity they’ll pretend to be friends with all the kids that they normally cover away out of sight in blatant ignorance.
Hmmm . . . I said close your eyes for a few lines, you might have caught the end of that and decided to read it from the start . . . heh
Anyways.

This particular girl, who never speaks to me, never notices me, never has any recognition of me whatsoever unless I’m talking to a ‘popular’ labeled kid, carried on about ME IGNORING HER!
WHAT!!?!?!!?
 Here’s a Victor Meldrew quote for you, “WHAT IN THE NAME OF BLOODY HELL!?”
You never talk to me, you never notice me, so why should me ignoring you and not talking to you be anything new or different for you!!!!
GAH!
Ridiculous! She asked for my score because she had got 35 out of 39 or whatever and she wanted to gloat and carry on. Since I have been on the No Tell Score policy of course I said nothing and just put my book away quitely. What was the angry part of that is the fact that, the only time you want to bloody have anything to do with me is when YOU want a MONGREL IQ TEST!!!!
What am I your SCORE TO BEAT or your LINE TO CROSS.  

I said something a lot milder than what I’ve got above,
And I sure hope it implanted that burning piece of doubt in your mind, maybe she’ll come across it eventually, if she ever can start using this ‘smart’ brain that she supposedly has.

 Then she was saying, “Am I mean, what did I do?” Her show-crowd act to try and regain ‘kind’ reputation that she just lost by my line. 
I heard her having conversations with the other ‘popular’ brats trying to figure out what she did wrong.
Smarter than me? 
Gawd, give me a bit more credit why don’t you.
And don’t go fumbling for your phone . . . thats not what I’m talking about.

To try and repair her friendly image I heard her say, “I’ll go give him a hug,” gah, oh please, not that soppy crap that all the boys without a capable brain take and forgive because they let their hormones get in the way.
Just as well she didn’t hug me because I would have slugged my arms out to knock her off and told the teacher that she was invading my personal space.
Instead she stood behind me and said, “What’s the problem” 
I closed that straight away with, “End of conversation, goodbye.” 
She also said later on, “Am I a bad person?” and a popular kid said, “No, you are not a bad person.”
My only thing to say on that account is, sometimes to see the truth, you have to be an outsider.
Meaning those on the outside, the discriminated, see the real person behind the social fog cloud for what they are.

And everyday they just walk off home, thinking because I ignored her I’m suddenly the one with the childish mental problem. Oh if they knew, oh if they fricking knew who was inside. 

They just don’t get it do they.
None of them do. 

The one thing that I’ve had, throughout my entire life, the one thing, the only thing, that ever gets me a moment of attention, that savoring moment where everyone talks to you. 
That one thing has been my work at school, getting high marks, people ask, “How are you so good at this?”
They never will know that it’s because I’ve spent a life of trying to get that attention, the only thing I had fought for was that acceptance, even for awhile.

There’s not a hope that anyone in my class would read this.
Even if they found this blog the sight of the page of text would be enough to throw their illiterate minds off this blog and onto a more less-thinking required online flash game website.
Yes OneMoreLevel I’m looking at you, you reader stealing b******s.

Ah.
That feels better.

Thanks for reading, the few readers that ever decide to read this blog.
A bit negative today. But hey, stuff happens.(I say stuff meaning another word that also starts with ‘s’ and is the equivalent of poo.)

Next post should hopefully be a cheerful one.

Now another not to make is I am NOT mentally damaged by the event, after the event I was upset and dislodged (No, not from whatever was biting me) but shortly after I was happy again and the afternoon was a breezy walk. Though I did ignore the girl (victim) the rest of the afternoon to try and get it through to her.
The reason I say this down the bottom in bright RED text is because for some reason, people get the idea that one bad post means one unhappy, depressed host.
Nah!

Well thanks again for letting me strain one of the most easily transferred human emotions into you.

Until next time.

Ben out,

(“Did you see what I did there? I left this post on a happy note to avoid keeping you, my reader, feeling sad and upset. You can thank me later. Cya)
 

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