Don’t expect a big thing on deal or no deal. I ain’t talking about any boxes with colourful blue cards with amounts of money written on them.

I’m talking about being a big deal, someone who is important, actually noticed.
To some people you may be a bigger deal than to others, to you some peoples opinions or etcetera may matter a lot more to you than other peoples.

There was a long period where I wasn’t a big deal to people, no one cared on my opinion, or what I thought. When I spoke about what I felt it wasn’t taken seriously, it was just pushed to the side like the green mushy peas that once lay upon the small plastic plates of our childhood.
Up until recently, my opinion didn’t matter.

But as it happens, there are people who to take my opinion as a big deal, who seem to want to have a good impression when it comes to what I think of them.

It adds a few more cards to the table, more things you have to think about, and more things to watch what you say. More moves you have stop and think about before you make them.

Let’s just say I haven’t been doing that recently, I’ve went and said things without joining the dots and thinking about how it would come across from their perspective, I’ve always carried on about perspective,
“Try and see my perspective for once.”

How pathetic of me to not actually go by my own words.

But it was my own feelings that blinded me, it was my ignorance that contributed to things being said that really were both unfair, and improper. They may have been speaking my mind, but they definitely did rule out, and describe, some of the best people I have ever known. On my part, the way it was written was offensive, and has been modified.

The one describing that brat in my class ,however, hasn’t been removed, nor edited, I try to her perspective all I see is a ignorant pain that only thrives off talking to other popular people, Gah!

ANYWAYS.

I’m Sorry.

Ben,

You know how at school they have that ‘strict’ policy where there’s no hugging, kissing, holding hands.
What do they call it? Something to do with no intimicy? Or something, they called it some weird name.

All I have to say is that I reckon if anything it should be made even stricter, anyone seen doing any of the above should get a lunchtime, simple as that.
I personally am sick of seeing it, everywhere you go, whether heading to drama, whether heading to maths, whether in P.E., whether leaving P.E., while I’m eating lunch, and recess. It’s poposterous.
Not only is it irritating in some cases to watch, but you look and feel a completely awkward, just when you were about to talk to someone they start hugging and whispering lovingly in each others ears, you can’t even squeeze a word in Heitenswiterzein. (Don’t bother Googling that, I made it up)

Not only that it makes all us singlies feel like absolute crap, who wouldn’t feel like crap, it practically gets rubbed in your face, even by your best friends.

And personally if I actually had the contentment of a relationship I would at least give some consideration my friends by not waving it around in front of their faces like a bull and a red cotton sheet.

Some people don’t understand how it feels because they’ve always had this stuff in their life, as an easy opportunity. They forget that some people don’t.

Another thing that peeves me off with it is how people will go out for two weeks, then break up and sob and cry and say their life is ruined. For two reasons, 1. you make relationships seem cheap and rubbish. and 2. You carry on about your life being ruined and that it sucks-sucks-sucks blah blah blah! Better to have had it then not to have had it at all.

I mean seriously, you spend time with each other all day, talk to each other constantly by text, messenger, social networking sights, after school, before school. So do you think that you could possibly cut out school days from your non-stop-full-on-contact convention?
You don’t need to be kissin’ and huggin’ all day fricking long, gawd we get the picture already, you bloody love each other, got the message as clear as day thankyou very much.

Even when you get home you get a constant reminder, logging onto Facebook and MySpace and everybodys rubbing it in your face again, like some twisted Home and Away version of cyber bullying.

Of course the schools don’t think of all this with the rule, they only have the rule to make the school ‘more proffesional’ looking because the school should be thought of as a ‘workplace environment.’

All the stuff rubbed into singlies faces, whether this stuff is good for the skin I’m yet to know, but until I find out. Meh.

I guess I’ll be standing on this musky cold train platform holding the ticket with the ‘unknown arrival time’ stamped on the front for a long, long time.

OFFICIAL Script for Cheese Weekly:

I just got back from Queensland, going to themeparks, and absorbing the sun.
There was one ride however, that I went on when I got back home, it was chained with a lock, and before I could ride it I needed to find the key.

The ride showed me myself, I watched the rollercoaster slowly climb to the top, then quickly, it came speeding down.
Sometimes it looped around, sometimes it didn’t, other times it made you feel sick.

If you are a clever cookie you would have linked the above to ‘life.’
‘Life is like a rollercoaster’ you’ve gotta have heard that one before, the truth is, life IS like a rollercoaster. It’s ups and downs, but also, if your too scared to ride the rollercoaster, you never get to experience how exciting it may be, how fun it might become.
I’ll let you ponder on that, for now I’m moving on to a few things I find interesting.

The human mind, isn’t it interesting how we think, how we hear a voice in our head saying every word we read. Noticed that? And who’s voice is it that you hear?
If you are reading something that YOU are writing the voice you hear is your own, if you are reading something a friend wrote you may have your voice in your head, but most likely, the voice you hear reading it out, is the friends voice.
If you are reading a story, say the line:
…”George, the boats about to go!” said Sam… often subconsciously you will use a voice of someone you know, without even realizing it.

Another thing, labelling.
Your brain labels people you meet and know. (…okay, go on, say ‘duh’)
Take this for example. Imagine a person called Red.
Now let’s say Red makes you laugh a few times, let’s say 4-7.
You may not remember what he said to make you laugh, but all you remember is that you found it funny, there by labelling Red ‘funny’.
You don’t even need to make them laugh all the time anyways, if you make someone laugh quite a bit quite recently, your past gets shoved beside you, you are labelled ‘funny’ for your recent funny jokes or gesture.
However, if you’ve only made them laugh a few times, let’s say 2 times, the first time they laughed really hard the second not so much. Because the most recent one that made you laugh wasn’t as funny, and they haven’t made you laugh alot, you don’t labeled as ‘funny.’

Are you following? It can get confusing and I could have written lots more on labelling, but one more thing.

This works for other things to. You might label someone a ‘good speller’ because they helped you with spelling a few times, you don’t remember exactly what spelling words they were, only that they helped you.

Off the labeling topic.

Now think of a movie you’ve watched.
Imagine Shrek, or Nemo, even a TV show will do.
You thinking about the show/movie?
Get this. Where did you watch the movie?
Notice that when you think about the movie or show you watched you don’t image the TV or the stuff surrounding the TV, or even the room you are sitting in. The image in your head is trimmed down and is as clear. Even if you watched it on a small TV, your brain patches it up and shows it to you as if you had placed the show in your head to watch.

Cool huh? Well I thought it was interesting, you guys probably think differently.

I had another thing that was going to say, I left a mental note, “Leave til last,”
But thinking about this other stuff has made me lost the note with what I was going to say on it.
I’ll stick it here later if I remember it….
Heh, unlikely though.

I’ll let you think on these.

Cya!