The dream of you that killed me

My eyes are bloodshot.

My vision is obscured by the

Tears that roll down my cheeks

And into this pool of sorrow.


My head screams at me.

Voices of hate and envy

Infultrate my mind.

I’m going crazy.


My longing heart is failing me,

These scars have been dug way too deep.

My love for you is killing me,

The tears I cry are making weak.


I fell for you but you weren’t there to catch me, instead you just let me fall,

Fall into this spiral of self loathing and hate!

And I fear that these scars won’t heal, I’m broken and I won’t heal.


This blade cuts into my heart

And I wait for your sweet, sweet stitches

To mend this wound that pierces so deep

As I sit and stare at your pictures.


I like these photos, your smiling at me,

That’s something I haven’t seen you do in a while.

I miss the days when you used to watch me

Then quickly look away when I caught your eye.


But those heartless vultures took me away

And locked me up because they thought I was insane.

Now trapped within these cold walls I will stay

Forever longing to see you again.


And as I sit by myself in the dark

I wait to be put out of my misery.

Alone with my thoughts and falling apart

I wait for you to come and rescue me.


What’s happening?

Why are you taking so long?

For you I’d wait forever,

But forever is almost gone.

The end is getting nearer the more time you take

Because unlike me, forever will not wait.


And I fear that these scars won’t heal, I’m broken and I won’t heal, I can’t heal.


And I cry…


I told them I didn’t love you any more

But they didn’t believe in my lies

Because that’s all they were,

Those words were just lies.


I fell for you but you weren’t there to catch me.

You just let me fall

Into this eternal slumber,

Where I dream.


I dream forever,

Like a movie in black and white

Stuck on repeat

Continually circling my mind.


I dream

A dream,

A magical dream.

This dream

I dream,

So magic it seems…


Alas, this dream is as it seems

This dream I dream is only a dream;

A contorted story my mind has conceived;

A memory, only make believe.


They locked me away and told me it was a disease;

A sick twisted fantasy.

The lie that I made my reality.

The dream of you that killed me.


So they fed me pills and doused me with lies:

An experimental game with death as the prize.

Too many of their pills left my tongue dry

And slowly, silently they took my life.


And as the echoes of footsteps on the tiles

And the plain white walls of the institution

Slowly faded from my mind

I knew that I’d found my resolution.


And even though my body’s dead

My heart, so black, still beats for you.

My vice, my love, my life, my death

In this night I only dream of you…

It’s Time for Change

Warning: The topic of this post is very heavily debated, and some may be offended. Reader’s discretion is advised. Hello, and welcome to another Benaball blog post. Sit back, get some snacks. This will be…

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