Cars: The Un-Animated Real Life Horror Film

Hey folks, just going to casually talk about how I nearly died yesterday!

Well technically every time we travel in a vehicle we ‘nearly’ die, and the chances of dying or having the very being that you are unplugged by an injury is pretty high. But really it’s not surprising at all when you remember that it’s a large heavy hunk of metal, on wheels, traveling at high speeds. We don’t naturally travel anywhere near as fast as these cages on wheels go, but we seem quite content with strapping ourselves in and going for a ‘spin… but that’s not really relevant at the moment.

Back on topic… Nearly dying, got it… Yeah, I think I’ll take my time. I’ll get to the point at the end of the post. If people got to the point straight away there wouldn’t be any storyline, there wouldn’t be any point in going to a movie theatre because the movie would get to the point in the first 30 seconds… For those that follow Vlog My Blog you’ll understand what I’m carrying on about.

Yesterday I and many other students went to the RYDA program, the program that aims to teach younglings how to responsibly drive a car. Unfortunately 90% of younglings these days are too ignorantly careless towards the matter that is real life. Yoda would deny them any training, though I’m not quite sure why Yoda is coming into this post at all.

To start off the program was the bus ride, which didn’t really set a good example. The bus had no seat belts, no leg room, and an arrangement of metal bars that looked like they had been placed there by some scheming lunatic who designed the bus in a way to ensure that in the event of a crash all occupants would end up playing a rather fatal game of twister… with their guts.

Once we’d arrived we went through, station by station. First off we had a recap of all the basics, don’t drink while driving, don’t drive while sleepy, don’t sleep while drivey and don’t drink and sleep simultaneously while driving. They may need to run through it again with me, something didn’t quite sound right about that…

After that we had a policewoman there to tell us about the amount of deaths in Australia, the amount of us that would probably not be around within the next few years. She also explained how P-Platers are far more dangerous than any other drivers, and how hooning around and showing off in a car resorts to accidents. A no-brainer really, if it were olden times and you had the noose around your neck you wouldn’t be hooning around. The car is essentially the same risk, you muck around you’re going to get hurt. It’s like the basic rule they tell you in kindergarten, don’t run with scissors, don’t play with fire. The facts the policewoman said about the worrying, and people should really pay attention to them.

The day came to an end, we had been told about car safety features, we’d gotten into a car with a safety instructor so that he could show us what breaking in an emergency situation would be like, we’d purchased sausages from the sausage sizzle, finally it was over. I was now clearly decisive of my future.

Time to get back to school. We all climbed aboard the bus that was so old it no longer met any of today’s safety regulations, and begun driving back to the school. Suddenly, while driving along a busy 4 lane highway, as if some sick-minded person from RYDA had one final warning for us, the bus began to jolt. There was a loud ripping sound, which turned into a rapid chopping, a violent groan… and we were all flipping out.

There were no heroic figures that leapt up like Bruce Willis and said, “Don’t panic, just do exactly as I say.”
However one of our supervising teachers did say shortly after, “Don’t worry guys, we just ran over some rope. It’s the body that was attached to the rope you should worry about.”

He was joking folks, just in case I have a few of those weird ones reading…

Turned out we’d run over something and the tire had burst, though at the time, not wearing seat belts, cars racing all around us, thoughts of all the back-ending stuff the day had warned us about, left us reasonably frightened. The bus pulled over, then we just walked up to the school. But the fact is it was movie-like… No? Oh, well, this was pretty much a waste of your time… Not a very good cliffhanger.

The point? A day that warned us about crashes and accidents happened to have one at the end of the day to top it all off. Though if the bus we were in had been taken off the road ages ago like it should have, who knows, we may have still been alive today…

Well, there we have it, a terrifying tale, worthy of a place in an epic movie. Hop to it directors.

See you next weeky.

Ben,

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