A Messed Up Story About A Ruler

I was laid down on the grass, staring at the sky helplessly.
I wonder how long until the students come rushing out.

I wish rulers could wear watches.  I once saw a ruler
that had a watch around his neck.
His student said he didn’t want to lose it in PE.
This ruler looked pretty smart with that watch.

I wish my student respected me that much. I just fell out of a pencil case and left behind.
He was often careless with his school essentials. I wonder if he would remember
me. Time seemed to be ticking away so slowly. Probably a good thing I’m a plastic ruler and not one
of those hip, flexible rulers – otherwise I’d be melted into the grass by now.

“Kids – so careless these days. Litter my damn grounds” Said the groundsmen walking towards me in a
grouchy manner. He then threw me onto the concrete hoping someone would be
interested in me or maybe he just wanted me out of the way.

A boy in a blazer with a green tie came and picked me up. Together we walked back into the
entrance and towards the maths department then dropped me into a teacher’s
basket and once again left me. Why didn’t anyone want me? That boy would’ve
cherished every margin he ruled with me. I sat there for about half an hour
when the kids started strolling into class with much to say.

“I hope you remembered your rulers today, you’ll need them” said Mrs White. Rulers? Us? We
were important after all – I was important!

“Miss!” A young nice looking blonde girl who was wearing a white shirt with a green and red
tartan skirt said and shot up her hand.

“Jessica, I’ve told you to get organised for weeks now. Please tell me you have a ruler for
your class” she replied. Jessica simply nodded her head with a slight smirk.

I was peering over the basket thanks to my height. I heard and saw everything. Why
don’t rulers teach and have schools? We could learn good posture and how to put
up with the pens that draw themselves up our sides.

“Well I didn’t bring any for you knowing you’d do the wrong thing, you will learn your
lesson” Mrs White lectured.

Jessica lowered her hand and pointed to the basket sitting behind Mrs White.

“Now look who’s silly” she commented. Jessica continued pointing which put a frown
on Mrs White’s face because she knew Jessica was right. She came over and
lifted me out of the basket and passed me to the girl, so very eager to learn.
But I knew I’d be returned by the end of the day, no longer in possession of

“Make sure you return it” commented Mrs White. I then felt needed and valued. Jessica
really knew how to rule margins straight. “Right class, next week bring your
protractors for the next part of the measurement unit.” Mrs White called.

“Worst enemies” I tried to mutter but funnily enough – I don’t have a voice box.

Jessica stuffed me into her pencil case with no questions asked. From then on it was
pure black for 5 minutes while being tossed around and pushed into pens with no
lids. Ow!

Suddenly the outside world started to peel open again. Jessica’s hand reached in and
pulled me out again. I know I wanted a normal ruler life but this was too much;
she started bending me back and forth. I could see the words go in and out of
her head – ‘How far can it bend before it snaps’

then she stopped as if she realised she needed me. She then put me between two
desks and made me into bridge. Well that’s a new scenario, I thought to myself.
She put her fingers on me and danced them – singing about owls. ‘How silly’ I
wanted to say but it did give me funny feeling, I think it’s called silent

you’re so annoying!” called a guy with brown wavy hair with reasonably tanned
complexion. She got annoyed and held me up waving me in his face.

“Now you shhh Joshua otherwise Barry will go straight across your face” she warned.
Who’s Barry?

“Barry?” Joshua said as if he heard me ask the question.

“I will name all my things and my ruler’s name is Barry”

“Man,you’re weird” he sighed.  But, but I had
a name –finally! I am finally claimed after I thought I would be a spare ruler
for the rest of my life. I can see it now; I can be in a story ‘The Adventure
of Barry!’ Oh c’mon, I can dream a little.

A random guy with dark, wavy hair snooped around Jessica’s table with smug look
on his face. Too bad I can’t be taken anymore now that I’m Jessica’s ruler.
Surely he would go for the teacher’s pens; he continually stared at the
teacher’s desk.

bam! I was taken straight off Jessica’s desk as he laughed very evilly.

“Give it back Michael!” she whined.

“Don’t have it!” he yelled back. Um, forgetful much? He shoved me up his jumper. This
wasn’t going to end nicely.

“I know you have it, just give it back!” Jessica stood up, ready to pounce.

“Nah” He threw me across the room to another boy and yelled “Catch, Jim”. He was
getting ready to snap me.

My life and thoughts flashed
before my eyes.

The first time I was opened and
placed on top of some school books, the maths and art classes, when I was
dropped by that kid and picked up by the groundsmen, then found by a
responsible student and placed into the hands of a teacher, then into the care
of dear Jessica and now my life was sitting in the hands of one evil boy.

Why did I wish for excitement and a student?
Why did I bring this upon myself?
Right now I’d be glad to be lying on the grass once again – peacefully

“Don’t you dare!” Jessica shouted. Within a second I was snapped into two
and hurled into the bin with all the paper planes.
Jessica soon came along and tried to tape me back together.

“No… my ruler” she said devastated.

Without my secured limb, I had no purpose.
No one would need me once again –
all but Jessica, she wanted me.
Once again I was at peace.

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